Your Life Post-Cancer Treatment — Part Two
My heart is weary from the anxiety and fear of my cancer returning, the trauma of what I went through. Every single day I’m reminded of what I went through and might have to again — it fills my thoughts first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
When I drive I look at the sky, the trees, the beautiful countryside, I feel blessed that I’m alive to see such things. But, the anxiety I feel at times feels too much to bare. Yet I sit with it every day. I’m further down the road now from finishing my cancer treatment, yet I can’t shake it off… the what if’s.
I can’t talk to my family and friends about it. I feel like a stuck record, that I should’ve moved forwards from this, yet here I am, stuck and lost, fearing life and going forward instead of being able to embrace it and live it…
And that’s when the guilt and shame sets in. So many people haven’t made it and I feel I have no right to feel like this.. I have a second chance… Yet here I am. Alone in my head with overwhelming thoughts and no one to help me make sense of what I’ve been through and am still going through! I feel very alone!
Does this sound familiar to you? All too often this is the case that people having faced a cancer diagnosis feel post the treatment.
You’re not alone in this thinking. And there are people out there who want to help…
There are organisations that are confidential at the end of a phone that will listen to you, from Macmillan to local support groups and cancer specialists in cancer counselling like myself.
Here are a couple of contact details you may consider exploring that can help you:
Macmillan Helpline 0808 808 0000
Counselling-Directory.org.uk (who have registered counsellors that specialises in working with cancer patients)
My door is always open, too. So you can explore your thoughts and feeling, and start to find that inner peace to help you move forward and start living again.